Lord of the Flies and Sometimes of the Dance - Eventful Day!

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Eventful Day!

Jan. 6th, 2006 at 8:21 PM

I made it through class. I ate solid food. And I nearly got in a fistfight on the CTA train coming home, but I might also have found true love.

The fever broke this afternoon, and I made it all the way through class today with no barf. I ate chicken soup (so far) with no dire consequences. I treated my inner child to the purchase of Serenity on DVD. And on the way home, this is what happened:

Location: Brown Line, 7:30 pm, North toward Kimball

BLABBY CELL PHONE LADY: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Train conductor: This is Merchandise Mart.
BLABBY CELL PHONE LADY: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah BLAH! BLAH!
Train conductor: This is Armitage
Train passengers: :sigh, rolling eyes:
BLABBY CELL PHONE LADY: blah and BLAH! BLAH AND BLAH! blah blah blah blah blah blah!"
Train conductor: This is Fullerton.
BLABBY CELL PHONE LADY: BLABBITY BLAH! BLABBITY! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLABBITY! BLABBITY!"
Train conductor: This is Belmont
BLABBY CELL PHONE LADY: Did I mention blah? AND BLAH? BLAB BLAB BLAB BLAB BLAB! FUCKING A BLAB!
Me: I will give you my seat and $5 if you will hang up your phone and stop talking.
BLABBY CELL PHONE LADY: Oh my god, you will never believe it, this TOTAL BITCH just told me to shut up!
Me: I was deadly serious. My seat + $5. Please. Stop talking.
BLABBY CELL PHONE LADY: OH MY GOD, WHAT A CUNT, WHY CAN'T SHE JUST TUNE IT OUT? BLABBITY BLABBITY
Guy Next To Me: 10 bucks.
BLABBY CELL PHONE LADY: What?
Guy Next To Me: I will give you $10 to shut up.
Me: Plus my $5. That's $15.
Guy Next To Me: To shut up.
Me: Plus, our seats.
Guy Next To Me: If only you will be quiet.
Train Conductor: This is Damen.
BLABBY CELL PHONE LADY: OH MY GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST MIND THEIR BUSINESS? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, BITCH? YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH ME, I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE GODDAMN FACE."

She got off at Western.

I did not get Guy Next To Me's phone number.

I totally should have.

Music:beautiful, blessed silence

Comments

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shzwah wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 03:12 am (UTC)

I...absolutely...LOVE Serenity. And the Firefly series it's based on. It warms my heart that you "treated your inner child" with it's purchase. Yay!

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magdalene1 wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 03:59 am (UTC)

I'm getting over a truly evil flu. And Joss Whedon is my master, now.

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sanj wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 03:23 am (UTC)

Also, you have the best. scene. ever. for a film set in the city. No one will believe that except for you, Cell Phone Lady, and the Guy Next to You.

Yeesh.

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magdalene1 wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 03:59 am (UTC)

Hee, when your life is like a movie, you don't have to actually be creative!

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madresal wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 04:08 am (UTC)

ha that is awesome!!

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crankyasanoldma wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 04:24 am (UTC)

This is what Craigslists "Missed Connections" was made for, baby.

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magdalene1 wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 04:26 am (UTC)

Dear Sarcastic Guy:

I think you're my soulmate.

Love,
Bitchy Train Girl

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outsidetheparty - Jan. 7th, 2006 05:16 am (UTC) Expand

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magdalene1 - Jan. 7th, 2006 05:37 am (UTC) Expand

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outsidetheparty - Jan. 7th, 2006 06:01 am (UTC) Expand

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empress_pixel - Jan. 7th, 2006 03:56 pm (UTC) Expand

empress_pixel wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 05:36 am (UTC)

So, the lesson here is...

I seriously need to hold out for a cash settlement the next time some rude old lady tells me to shut up when I'm on the phone in public.

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magdalene1 wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 05:39 am (UTC)

Re: So, the lesson here is...

You would not believe how loud she was talking. I had my iPod at maximum volume and could still hear every word. Other people were talking on phones but at a reasonable level, but she was like the Tuba of Loud Talking.

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As long as it's not about the phone. -

empress_pixel - Jan. 7th, 2006 03:51 pm (UTC) Expand

Re: As long as it's not about the phone. -

magdalene1 - Jan. 7th, 2006 04:15 pm (UTC) Expand

Re: As long as it's not about the phone. -

empress_pixel - Jan. 8th, 2006 01:45 pm (UTC) Expand

You KNOW I'm not a phone talker, so forgive my prejudices. -

magdalene1 - Jan. 8th, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC) Expand

Re: You KNOW I'm not a phone talker, so forgive my prejudices. - (Anonymous) - Jan. 9th, 2006 12:23 pm (UTC) Expand

Re: You KNOW I'm not a phone talker, so forgive my prejudices. -

empress_pixel - Jan. 9th, 2006 12:25 pm (UTC) Expand

replies - (Anonymous) - Jan. 9th, 2006 08:41 pm (UTC) Expand

starcat_jewel - Jan. 10th, 2006 07:21 am (UTC) Expand

Re: As long as it's not about the phone. -

mcduff - Jan. 8th, 2006 03:23 am (UTC) Expand

Re: As long as it's not about the phone. -

empress_pixel - Jan. 8th, 2006 01:34 pm (UTC) Expand

Re: As long as it's not about the phone. -

mcduff - Jan. 9th, 2006 01:13 am (UTC) Expand

Re: As long as it's not about the phone. - (Anonymous) - Jan. 9th, 2006 12:02 pm (UTC) Expand

Re: As long as it's not about the phone. -

empress_pixel - Jan. 9th, 2006 12:26 pm (UTC) Expand

Re: As long as it's not about the phone. -

mcduff - Jan. 9th, 2006 03:35 pm (UTC) Expand

off_coloratura wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 07:26 am (UTC)

Oh. My God. You are a god and my hero. And the queen of the world. I love you.

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rollick wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 08:34 am (UTC)

Schweet. And it reminds me of a story, which I've posted to my own LJ. I think more people should offer instant public bribes to stop obnoxiousness. Surely it's the American way.

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yonmei - Jan. 7th, 2006 11:46 am (UTC) Expand

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rollick - Jan. 7th, 2006 05:06 pm (UTC) Expand

thelastrobot wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 09:28 am (UTC)

Man. I love this story. I love that the woman can't believe what she's hearing. She can't believe that she should behave like a regular person in a public place. Man, "Why can't she just tune it out". Amazing.

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torificus wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 01:00 pm (UTC)

I am one of those stumbledinfrommetaquotes people who plague all the good quoted posts. I like you. :D

Also, it fascinates me that I like you and we have no common interests listed. I think I must friend you.

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themermaid wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 01:06 pm (UTC)

OMG that is funny. I would have loved to see the look on her face as she is trying to process what you said. The only thing better would have been a bidding war.

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magdalene1 wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 02:38 pm (UTC)

Her face looked kind of like this.

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missfran - Jan. 7th, 2006 02:45 pm (UTC) Expand

small_chicken wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 02:15 pm (UTC)

Liquid awesome!

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haardvark wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 03:05 pm (UTC)

I apologize for this, but on the basis of this post I feel that I must friend you.

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vix1 wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 04:03 pm (UTC)

I can vouch for this one, mags.

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haardvark - Jan. 7th, 2006 04:19 pm (UTC) Expand

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magdalene1 - Jan. 7th, 2006 04:19 pm (UTC) Expand

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haardvark - Jan. 7th, 2006 04:35 pm (UTC) Expand

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outsidetheparty - Jan. 7th, 2006 08:48 pm (UTC) Expand

jdoh wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 03:41 pm (UTC)

You meet a soul mate on the train, I meet bloody drunks who want to rub their stiffies on me. I ride the wrong lines at the wrong times I guess.

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magdalene1 wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 04:21 pm (UTC)

While I don't like annoying cell phone talkers or people who think their briefcase needs a seat more than other people do, I really only have one non-negotiable train rule:

DON'T PUT YOUR PENIS ON ME!

This can be enforced by any means necessary.

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(no subject) -

blanx73 - Jan. 8th, 2006 12:42 am (UTC) Expand

lustronheloise wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 04:49 pm (UTC)

All I have to say is

Miss Jen, I give you my wreath of laurel.

If I were in charge of the CTA, you would replace Jack as the next poster girl. (And James Earl Jones would get to say "This is Library,State and VanBuren")

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magdalene1 wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 04:53 pm (UTC)

Re: All I have to say is

I had had a very bad day.

I am not against cell phone use, ownership, etc. But in spaces where people cannot get away from you, you'd better limit the conversation to "Hey, I'm on my way" or "Can you pick up x for dinner?" as most of my fellow lovely brown line passengers seem to do.

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Re: All I have to say is -

postmoderngirl - Jan. 8th, 2006 04:03 am (UTC) Expand

nadyezhda wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 05:46 pm (UTC)

Man, as the Muzh says, "the family that snarks together, stays together." Let's hope this guy rides the train again with you. I'd even take out a little ad in the "missed connections" or whatever section of the paper it is to find him. ;)

Good for you though for standing up for yourself!

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muckefuck wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 07:14 pm (UTC)

I have come very, very close to handing $20 to young couples playing tonsil hockey on the seat in front of me and saying, "Here, this should buy you two an hour at a motel on Lincoln," but I'm sure they would tell me to "just tune it out" and "mind your own business" as well.

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nadyezhda wrote:

Jan. 8th, 2006 02:54 am (UTC)

How strange to see you here! I usually see you at linguaphiles or learnrussian, right?

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stealthmuffin wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 08:08 pm (UTC)

I am proud to be your minion.

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windswept wrote:

Jan. 7th, 2006 09:58 pm (UTC)

I echo everyone else - brilliant story, brilliant effort. :^)

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blanx73 wrote:

Jan. 8th, 2006 12:42 am (UTC)

My hero. This was priceless.

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mcduff wrote:

Jan. 8th, 2006 03:20 am (UTC)

Can I just point out how completely awesome you are? If it had been me on the train next to you, I'd have asked for your number.

Well, I wouldn't. But I'd have got off at my stop and wished I had. Which is probably what that guy did.

So. Yeaahhh.

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spritelord wrote:

Jan. 8th, 2006 05:39 am (UTC)

Lies! Lies and Trickery. McDuff would have your number AND he'd buy you a drink. Of this, doubt me not.

As for me, I'm gonna have to grab my cell and wander the trains, shouting into it and hoping I run into you.

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magdalene1 - Jan. 8th, 2006 02:59 pm (UTC) Expand

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mcduff - Jan. 9th, 2006 01:15 am (UTC) Expand

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spritelord - Jan. 9th, 2006 10:29 am (UTC) Expand

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magdalene1 - Jan. 9th, 2006 03:47 pm (UTC) Expand

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mcduff - Jan. 9th, 2006 12:53 am (UTC) Expand

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spritelord - Jan. 9th, 2006 10:27 am (UTC) Expand

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mcduff - Jan. 9th, 2006 03:20 pm (UTC) Expand

postmoderngirl wrote:

Jan. 8th, 2006 04:02 am (UTC)

For some reason, I thought I was reading this in

chicago_el and then I was really startled to realize I was actually reading your journal. It was a weird moment.

Also, today on the Brown Line, I heard a girl laugh and 100% thought it was you. I turned around and contorted myself to see who it was, and felt like a perfect idiot when I saw not-you. She definitely saw me checking her out, and I am dumb.

The end.

P.S. You have chutzpah! Good for you.

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(Anonymous) wrote:

Jan. 9th, 2006 08:23 pm (UTC)

Craigslist

NOW woman.

Get that boy's number.

-- Ender, Duke_of_URL

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